Tuesday, August 4, 2015

That Feeling...

I can remember it as if it was yesterday.

The excitement was constantly bubbling right at the surface of my emotions.  Just waiting for someone to ask something, anything that would allow me to burst.

"Are you ready for your first year of teaching?"

"Are you nervous?"

"What are you planning on doing the first day of school?"

"How's your summer been?"

"What's for dinner?"

Any of those questions (and more) could unleash my enthusiasm for the first day of school.  The first day in my classroom.  The first year of teaching.  I can remember grocery shopping and the Superintendent saw me and asked how my summer was.  I probably told him my plans for the first two weeks of school, asked him about if there was a limit to how much I could be in my classroom over the summers, and confessed my fear that I had no idea what Friday "clubs" were.  I think he walked away thinking I was slightly crazy.

I probably was.

Then finally I got to go with the other "New to Cheney" teachers and a few of the administration to a Kagan Cooperative Learning training.  I was so excited.  Finally a place where I can talk about school without seeming a little insane.

Were were all given random seats in order to mingle with other teachers from other schools.  After chatting a bit the teacher next to me looked and said "You're a first year teacher aren't you?"

"Yep! That obvious huh?  I'm super excited!"

She replied with a sigh, "I used to be excited about teaching too, this is my third year. That feeling will fade."  Then she turned to someone else in the group to strike up another conversation.

Her comment made me sad.

Not about the possibility of my excitement fading.  I was sad for her.  I silently vowed never to lose "that feeling."

As I prepare to start back at the school for my 10th year, I am finding myself filled with that same "feeling."

The feeling of starting the year again.  The feeling of change and the challenges that come with it.  The feeling of honor in being asked to have a student intern who was one of my 8th graders that first year.  That feeling of wanting to burst when anyone mentions school or what I have been working on this summer.

I just can't wait.

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